Cricketers Reincarnated as Footballers

0 Flares Filament.io 0 Flares ×

During the World Cup, we couldn’t help noticing the similarities between some of the teams and players with their counterparts in cricket. The most obvious example of course, being the dysfunctional French team with the equally chaotic pakistan team of the last 12 months.

We’ve noticed several other doppelgangers as well.

Cristiano Ronaldo and Kevin Pietersen – Both are supremely talented, but also ever so slightly in love with themselves and a bit fey. Like to be centre of attention and divide opinion like no other in their respective sports so that you either love them or hate them. Incidentally, we love KP at the Reverse Sweep but hate Ronaldo – see what we mean?

Lionel Messi and Sachin Tendulkar – By contrast these superstars go about their respective business of scoring (or creating) goals and runs with professionalism and decorum. Both also are considered by many as the second greatest in their sports behind Maradona and Bradman.

Franz Beckanbauer and Shane Warne – Both enjoyed rubbing English noses into the ground during glittering careers, and both now reserve their ire for their former foes through the press. Warney has already questioned England’s chances of retaining the Ashes this winter and Der Kaiser made several barbs against Fabio Capello’s men in South Africa. Let’s hope at least Warne is wrong.

Steven Gerrard and Michael Clarke – Although both Gerrard and Clarke are good players they are perhaps rated better than they actually are. Clarke was a poor choice as Australian Twenty 20 skipper and the downbeat Gerrard has proved just as bad for England in the World Cup. The similarities don’t end there as anyone who has witnessed the two of them in their say a lot, say nothing press conferences.

Mauricio Espinosa and Daryl Harper – Espinosa was the linesman who failed to spot that Frank Lampard’s shot had gone over the line. Just as in need of a trip to Specsavers is the diabolical Harper who’s performance in the recent South Africa-England series made Espinosa look like he has 20/20 vision in comparison. Espinosa may be blind, but Harper is both blind and deaf given that he missed the audible edge from Graeme Smith when sitting in the video umpire’s chair.

John Terry and Shoaib Malik– If Mohammad Yousuf is to be believed then Malik was the chief mutineer amongst the Pakistan players that so unsettled his and Younis Khan’s captaincies. Terry tried and failed to launch a mutiny amongst the England camp in South Africa – if he changed his name to Jean Thierry, he may have been more successful.

Jonathan Trott / Craig Kieswetter and Miroslav Klose / Lukasz Podolski – England have populated their cricket side with South Africans like Trott and Kieswetter and reaped the rewards. Similarly, Gerrmany have rebuilt its football side with non-Germans such as the sharpshooting duo of Klose and Podolski. Fabio Capello now knows how Ricky Ponting feels.

Nicolas Anelka and Andrew Symonds – Les enfants terribles. Anelka was sent home early from the World Cup for supposedly calling France manager Raymond Domenech to “Go fuck yourself, you son of a whore”, whilst amongst Symonds’ many misdemeanours, he was sent home from the World T20 in England last summer for being drunk.

Robert Green and Herschelle Gibbs – Gibbs famously dropped the World Cup according to Steve Waugh’s famous sledge. Green didn’t actually drop the World Cup as England clearly were never going to win it, but his butter fingers will prove to be as equally indicative of his team as Gibb’s drop was of his team of chokers.

Patrice Evra and Chris Gayle – Both were captain’s of teams that refused to train or play. Evra will not go down in history as a great French leader like De Gaulle or Napoleon; indeed he even makes Sarkozy look good in comparison.

Wayne Rooney and Yuvraj Singh – Both turned up patently unfit to their country’s big tournament of the year and proceeded to underperform, although Rooney at least had the excuse of being injured rather than have eaten too many poppadoms.


Liked this post? You should subscribe to our email updates - why subscribe.

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *