Is Watson and Hauritz Success Down to an Elaborate Conspiracy?
Quite inexplicably the two stars of the recent Australian test series wins over Pakistan and West Indies have been the much derided Shane Watson and Nathan Hauritz.
Yes the same Watson who seems to always look on the verge of crying and whose injury woes make Freddie Flintoff’s look miniscule in comparison. And yes the same Watson who everyone laughed at when he was drafted in as an opener in England in the summer.
And as for Hauritz, this is the same spinner who has provoked much hilarity even amongst Australian cricket fans.
On the surface they seem to have done extremely well. In six tests their stats are as follows: Watson has scored 609 runs at 60.9 and taken 13 wickets at 25.84, whilst Hauritz has taken 29 wickets at 26.82 and scored 200 runs at 33.33.
So maybe everyone except Andrew Hilditch was wrong and the two are worthy successors to Hayden and Warne.
Or maybe not. What if the duo’s success is some elaborate conspiracy dreamed up by the ECB in order that they are retained in the Australian team for the Ashes in November? There seem to be a few clues that suggest this outlandish plan could have been executed.
Suspicion has been aroused in Hauritz’s case by the illuminating comments of Pakistan skipper Mohammad Yousuf, which seem to hint at a wider conspiracy. Yousuf speaking of his side said “”We give 18 wickets to Hauritz…”
And there has to be some other explanation for the fact that Watson has managed to take 13 wickets with some of the most innocuous two-paced bowling ever seen in test cricket.
Also, what if Watson’s comical attempts to reach his maiden ton have other connotations? That despite the West Indian and Pakistani bowlers effectively allowing him to get a hundred was only spoiled by the fact that the bozo kept finding ways to get himself out? Even the one time he got to the magical three figures involved being dropped by the incompetent Abdur Rauf on 99.
It would also explain the fact that a significant proportion of the Allen Stanford cash seems to have disappeared from the ECB vaults.
As the evidence becomes more conclusive, it should be expected that the two unlikely heroes will continue their good form on the forthcoming tour to New Zealand and also when they play Pakistan again in England in the summer.
Maybe the ECB can stretch to making Marcus North and Peter Siddle look good too. Then the Ashes would all but be retained!
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