What Should Lalit Modi Do Next?

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As he pulls the daggers from his back and begins to spend days and weeks embroiled with lawyers, Lalit Modi will probably already be thinking about what he is going to do next. Beneath the bravado, he will know that his goose is well and truly cooked with the IPL and BCCI even if he disproves the wild and lurid allegations he finds himself up against.

I quite admire Modi. He may have delusions of grandeur and an ego the size of Australia, but the manner in which he has established the IPL and Champions League as the premier domestic cricket competitions in the world in less than three years is extraordinary. So we’ve been scratching our heads and have come up with a number of mostly tongue-in-cheek suggestions for Modi’s next move. Here we go:

Head of a resurrected Indian Cricket League

Who better to re-establish the Indian Cricket League to compete with and then surpass the IPL then the main instigator of the former’s fall and the latter’s meteoric rise. We suspect that Modi would find real pleasure in achieving this.

Chairman of the Pakistan Cricket Board

The small matter of India-Pakistan relations makes this the most unlikely of the lot, but can anyone imagine a better replacement for Ijaz Butt? Both are megalomaniacs, media whores and love to be at the centre of attention. But the difference is that Modi delivers.

President of the ICC

Forget John Howard and the rotating nature of the presidency, the ICC should be on the phone to Modi now. There is no-one better to quell the power of the BCCI than one of its own and Modi would serve his revenge cold.

Head of the English T20 league

Wave goodbye to the counties and the naff wild west themed nights and say hello to Vodafone maximums, Barclays timeouts and a franchise league, which could seriously challenge the supremacy of the IPL. Modi could do what the ECB should have done five years ago.

Manager of Liverpool football club

It seems that Rafa Benitez is on his way to Juventus if the newspapers are to be believed and that means Liverpool will be looking for a tough guy to stand up to Alex Ferguson, the playground bully of the Premier League. If Jose Mourinho can’t be enlisted, why not Lalit Modi?

Leader of the first manned expedition to Mars

Ten minutes with Modi would ensure that the Martians would abandon all plans to invade Earth and hasten their flee to Jupiter. Earth would be safe and Modi would be a hero again.

Direct a Bollywood film about his rise and fall

A tale of power, cricket, girls, money, scandal and a dramatic fall from grace. It’s got blockbuster written all over it and with Modi on first name terms with most of the Bollywood glitterati then he would have no shortage of actors and actresses to fill the cast.

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